Nobody wants to be exploited sexually

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Story First Published: April 16, 2014 10:14 IST the next day of the Supreme Court of India's verdict recognizing transgender people as third gender.

Tuesday will be remembered forever as an important day for the transgender people of India.

Non-heterosexuality and transgenderism are not new in our society and the history of our country has recorded transgender people's presence all over.

The transgender community has been listed as a criminal tribe since a century ago during the British empire and since then has been misunderstood, ostracised, marginalised and discriminated till today.

This ignorance has driven us out of our homes and families and till today, the transgenders of India have remained as beggars seeking their rights and have been exploited sexually.

Though abandoned by our families, we are embraced by other transgender people in the hijjra community. For a transgender person, it is really hell of a life to live in a society that completely misunderstands that because of the social ignorance and prevalence throughout.

The historical Supreme Court judgment will pave the way for social recognition and family acceptance which is very important for any transgender person. At this moment, I salute my fellow activists who joined hands with me in the battle for equality.

We have been fighting for so many years now. It is a very proud moment for this handful of educated and not-so-educated people from the community who broke the barrier and continued their life with courage, and rose up to voice their rights.

If we talk about India's laws today, Article 21 in our Constitution already ensures right to privacy and personal dignity for all citizens including transgenders. Article 23 prohibits trafficking human beings and beggars, forced labour etc.

Three Transwomen - an art by Kalki Subramaniam

There are many such articles, especially article 14 and 15 that prohibit discrimination on the grounds of religion, race, sex or place of birth.

These laws are not only for men and women. They also talk about a person, a citizen of India, and transgender people are citizens of India. These laws protect all people including transgenders, but they have been doing so only in books

Practically speaking this judgment will be an important one and it will pave the way in the future for recognition at various levels for right to education, employment, speech, housing, family, marriage and adoption of children. All this will be possible for transgender people through this historical and wonderful judgment.

For many years now, transgender activists from across the country have been sensitising the judiciary of India and also advocating with the policy makers of the country for recognising our rights and also for including us in all welfare measures. It is our right to live a dignified life.

No one wants to be a beggar. No one wants to be exploited sexually. We want to live like any other human being in this country. We deserve a family. We also deserve happiness. We also have the social obligation and thirst to contribute to the country's welfare - for the civil society.

And abandoning or ostracising us will make us live a nightmarish life. This judgment has shown us hope for our future and for generations coming up. At least the next generation of transgender people will not be begging or doing sex work because this legal decision has paved the way for us.

Transgender teenagers can now continue their studies...dropouts will reduce enormously.

Most transgenders today are begging and doing sex work because they are school dropouts. They are not qualified to get a good job.

This judgment will ensure that they get good education which will result in a well-qualified job. Even if a family abandons them, they can choose to live an economically independent life.

I personally welcome this judgment because I wanted to have a family. I wanted to marry and though I can't bear children, I wanted to adopt and marry the person I love. This judgment shows me hope that it is possible to have that life. 

The original article can be found at NDTV blog here

Dying Young – The death of two young transsexual women

This is an article about how I lost two of my transsexual friends who died in the prime of their youth and how both of them could have been saved only if our social, legal and family systems had been more supportive to transpeople.

When I migrated from Auroville to Chennai, Sathya was one of the first few transgender persons I met.  Transwoman and friend Rose and I used to visit Sahodaran to meet and socialize with other transgender and gay people. It is here that I met Sathya. She was a beautiful and plumpy girl. She was warm and had a lovely smile on her face. She was friendly to me. I spoke sweet nothings to her, conversations on sex and love broke into laughter and we all laid ourselves on the mattresses, piling up on each other, saying silly jokes about  boys and were laughing.  Sathya was fun to be with.

A few weeks later, when I visited Sahodaran again. Sathya was there. She was a different girl. She seemed to be lost in herself. She looked visibly disturbed and sad. She was on the phone arguing with her boyfriend and Oh my God!, there were bloody marks on her wrist. She told me that she had cut her wrist several times with blade.  The reason why she did this obviously was love. She wanted to prove a point to her boyfriend and this was her way. What can I say? She was an emotional girl. She was pure. She was possessive. The intensity of her love for the man she loved shocked me.

Another month had gone and I was in an event to meet Nepal’s openly gay Member of Parliament Sunil Pant who had come down to Chennai. Suddenly there was restlessness among my friends and I was wondering what was wrong. It was a news of death. The death of Sathya.  She wanted to change her sex but could not afford Sex reassignment surgery as it was very costly. She chose to undergo penectomy. She admitted herself in a reputed quack doctor’s place where more than a hundred transwomen had already done their surgeries and removed their male genitals.  Unfortunately, during anesthesia, she died of heart attack. The news of her death shocked me so much. She could have been saved only if our legal systems had been in favour of transpeople.  During the times of her death, there was so support of any kind for people who wanted to change their sex through surgery. The SRS was costing almost one lakh rupees. The government hadn’t passed a G.O to provide free SRS services and the medical support hadn’t been started by the government hospitals in Chennai then.

All Sathya could do was go to a quack doctor and do a penectomy. She was overweight but not fat. Though she was healthy, she died due to complications unknown. One of the reasons could also be that, like thousands of transwomen in India who take hormone pills and injections for breast development with out any medical check up and without any prescriptions by endocrinologist, she also took hormones.  An improper hormone regimen could also have been the cause of her heart attack.

If she had had the much needed acceptance from her family, her life might have been saved, and if she had had proper counseling and the right medicines for her transition from a friendly doctor, her life might have been saved.  She couldn’t have it and she lost her life.

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Has the problem been solved now for people like Sathya? No. At least in Tamilnadu, the SRS is now done in government hospital in Chennai free of cost, but improper hormone regimens still exist, yes, the hormone pills and injection mess continues among transwomen. Our transcommunity will come to know the consequences and side effects of all the culpable medications only in the coming years.

Like Sathya, many girls are dying every year in India. We do not have the numbers, but we know it is happening. How will the government protect us? Does the Indian ministry of health know about this problem It is time they knew it and stepped in to protect the lives of the vulnerable transsexual people. We need gender disphoric clinics. We need psychiatrists, psychologists and counselors who have in-depth knowledge on gender and sex issues, particularly transgender issues.

If  our medical systems had been more supportive to transsexual people, if only our laws pertaining to gender and sex change had been more defined and friendly, we wouldn’t have lost a beautiful person like Sathya.

                                   

                                    Sowmiya and I were soul sisters. She was a cute, dusky beautiful girl. I first met her in a gay men’s sexual health project office called Social Welfare Association for Men (SWAM). We instantly liked each other. Her home was in the very next street to my office. The first time I saw her, she was wearing a beautiful yellow saree which had rainbow colour polka dots all over. She looked graceful. She was a school drop out who and ran away to Mumbai, lived there for a few years, did her penectomy and came back to Chennai to live with her parents. She had long jet black hair. She wore gold in her pierced nose and earlobes. She lived with her parents and was unemployed. She was into begging for her needs. At home, she would wear white shirt and white dhoti. It was due to her father’s compulsion. To him, she was still his son. She looked lovely and sexy in shirt and dhoti too. Boys in her area went mad after her. She would come to SWAM and change into sarees or tops and jeans and then go for begging with other girls.


She was 26 and in love with a guy for more than seven years. She had known him since her childhood days. He was also madly in love with her. His parents knew Sowmiya but to them she was still a ‘he’. They liked her but never liked or approved the love tangle. Once, when the love was too intense and going strong, their love heated up her boy’s family.  His mother pleaded Sowmiya to leave him. Sowmiya promised the lady that she’d never spoil her son’s life. She never did. Instead she spoilt her own.

She loved her guru and gurubhais immensely and would do anything for them. I was a sister to her. In another gharana, she would be my daughter. But in Chennai, I was the elder sister she looked up to.  We shared a true bond of sisterhood. She loved me with full heart. She was younger to me and I truly cared for her.


One fine day, Sowmiya heard the news from her boy that his family had selected a bride for him. She gulped the disappointment and shock and urged him to marry that girl. At first he didn’t want to. Her persuasion to get married worked and he got married to the girl his mother chose. ‘But you are my true love and my first wife’ he said.

He married the girl, stopped talking to Sowmiya, didn’t pick up her calls and never came back. She was heart broken. This is also the time a few betrayals among the transfamily left her in to the hollow of sadness and depression. Her chosen path to escape was also the path which was leading her to her end.

 Alcohol is the elixir of transwomen which makes them slip into pure fleeting moments of bliss. First she basked herself into it and a few months later she was whirling her life in liquor and never cared to come back. Alcohol is a celebration and our girls gather in gangs to slip into the oblivion if they were offered.

My love, my care, my persuasion and advice to change her never worked. She would charm me with her smile and giggles and say, ‘Leave me for a few months, I will come back to you’.

I went to the United States for 3 weeks. Back from the U.S, I shifted my home to the east coast border of the city. I tried to reach her and couldn’t. I was unaware that I was slowly losing her. I signed up to do the film Narthaki and was busy in front of the camera.  On the night just before my last day of shoot in Thanjavur, I got a call from my other friend Soundharya. ‘Akka, Sowmiya has hung herself. She is dead’.

 I was devastated. I cried out loud and was sobbing over the phone. I could not cancel my shoot and come to Chennai. There was only one day left more and I couldn’t waste the time and money of other people. My eyes were filled with tears and I was weeping in bed, sobbing and rolling. ‘My loveliest one! Sweetest one! When am I going to see you again? I have no courage to see your dead body’. I didn’t know what time I slept. On my last day of film shoot in Thanjavur, I worked with deep sadness. I shared the news only with my director. My friends called me to say that her postmortem was done and she was being taken to electric crematorium. She is going to be ashes.

What went wrong? How did I lose my sweet beautiful sister? What were the reasons behind the self destruction of a beautiful human being? The reasons for her death were too many in her life. Her alcoholic father, her boyfriend who betrayed her, the social system that wouldn’t care for her and do justice to her wounded life, transgender folks who never tried to look in to her weeping heart and console her, her solace the bottle which turned into an obsession. And me, with my busy life, who didn’t see her  during her last days and waited for her to change herself and come back.    

Sowmiya and Sathya, they both died young. Their deaths reflect the ignorance, the corruptness and the lack of support of our legal, social, and family systems. We, as people in their lives, ignored to give them what they needed. We could have rescued them. What blocked us? All they needed was love and care, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to console, an ear to listen to, few words to cheer them up and concern with their wellness. If we don’t do this to people around us, people who connect our lives like brothers and sisters and who need help desperately, what is love, humanity and compassion all about?

Change. That is what we need. In ourselves and in the system we live in. For transpeople, we need laws that protect us, the assurance and hope for a secure future. We need amendments to our laws which should clearly speak of equal rights of transpeople, of protection against violence and discrimination. We need permanent medical support and intervention which promise and provide quality transgender care.  

Kalki Subramaniam

Transgender rights activist/Actor/Writer

Founder, Sahodari Foundation

http://www.sahodari.org

Thinking Pains

All of the time

I see myself thinking

Thinking all inside

Dreaded thought to thought

Carefully linking

Bringing my death in shapes and size

I’m self-destructing thinking

Submerged to lose

I am sinking

Nest of serpents

My own twisted mind

Creative manner to deal in living

Grown to stern

Ripped at stern

Evil in root

I see myself thinking

All of the time.

15 year old Tesia Samara, a transsexual teenager from Rockdale, a small town in Texas wrote this poem. Tesia hung herself in the garage unable to cope with the violence and hatred in her school. This was her poem. 

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