வாழ்க்கையை வெல்க திருநங்கையே! ! Episode 1 in Tamil by Kalki Subramaniam

When scars trasition to poems..

Last year, I did a series of poetry films named  வடு (Vadu - The Scar), my poems from my published work of Tamil poetry 'Kuri Aruthean'. I made my poetry into beautiful high quality poetry films made professionally with the help of my friends.

I chose five of my poems, recorded them with recitation in a sound studio, added royalty free background music and released one by one in YouTube and Facebook. These poetry films had been screened across many universities and colleges and also at Schwules Museum in Germany.

Here are the poems:

ஈழம் என்றொரு சிதைந்த யோனி -  Mutilated Vagina called Eelam 

விதியை எழுதினேன் - Fate, I wrote

ஓங்கிக் கை தட்டு - Clap Louder, Thirunangai!

அம்மா! - Mother!

வரம் கொடு! - Give me the boon!

குறி அறுத்தேன் - Phallus, I cut

Why art is so important for Indian transgender people?

The majority of Indian transgender population (census of India 2011 survery says 4.88 lakhs, but it could be 5 times higher) is not educated, mostly ostracised by the family, thrown out of our homes and have lost the opportunity to study at school or college. This rejection makes us disqualified for well paid jobs and pushes us into the street for begging and sex work to make money to meet all their needs.

While food and shelter become a priority, education fades away as a distant dream for us, and art is something not in our priority and needy list at all, we see it only in films or occasionally in newspapers and ignore. But I, being a transgender woman who was one of the lucky few to be accepted and adored by my family, had the privilege to get educated and to travel the world, and as well be an artist, knew the importance of art in our lives, the transgender people’s lives.

When you can’t write what you think, when you can not wisely express the issue that is bothering you and bothering others, when you have an urgency to speak out a need or burst with happiness and euphoria, but don’t have words, or ears to listen to your words, art comes as a powerful medium to express.

Our  Art show at Central University, Thiruvaroo

Art comes to heal you. To balance, to pacify and bring out those emotions exactly as they are. Raw, colourful, abstract, bizarre and bursting as much as we, the transgender people are.

It began as a personal journey for me at the age of 13. I used to draw, paint and write poetry when no one could understand the gender non conformity I was going through. The internal struggles could not be expressed in sounds and speech. I wrote poetry and made art to live myself, my self. Art was a therapy, I had no doctor to help me, no psychiatrist to counsel and guide me, and I found great solace in painting and poetry. Years later, I published my poetry book in Tamil and began my career as an artist besides the other identities I don.

Making art heals me from the wounds and scars of the past, art heals the pain I had to go through of who I wanted to be and how the world perceived it and shamed it. For thousands of transgender men and women in our country and around the world, art could mean so much. Indeed, art can change our lives for better, make us healed healthy human beings. Make us the healers.

Transwoman Vinitha in Sahodari's art workshop

I became more balance after I started to paint. I wanted to give that wonderful experience to my sisters. Recently, we at Sahodari Foundation held an art & healing workshop for 10 transgender women from underprivileged backgrounds. It was a three days workshop held in Satdarshan, a serene quiet holistic centre in the middle of forests of Western ghats near Anaikatti hills, Coimbatore.

From day one, all the ten women participants were passionate about learning, drawing lines to circles and shades to shadows, they learnt the basic with attention and focus. We did not miss to play and have fun in between. The first two days were the basics, on the second day in the after noon, the girls began to sketch their art on canvas.

Kalki breaks the stereotypes on art and creativity and prepares them to learn

That evening, the magic began to manifest. Colours began to flow, shapes began to fill, emptiness began to vanish and creativity was bubbling in the room. There were smiles, sizzling chats and each participant was constantly going to the art teacher requesting help to help, asking him doubts and questions. The canvases began their journeys filled with joyful colours there. One by one, the women were completing their first art on canvas in life. There was excitement. That night we had bon fire and danced till we ached.

The third and the final day of the workshop was buzz with activities, time was too short and those who had done their first art pieces started to do their second, those who were in the middle of making their first art work were a little concerned if they could finish it in time. Some even forgot their breakfast and were immersed in their canvas. Between breaks, we had games and dance performances too. Our art teacher and friend, Hariparthan was full of patience, instructing and guiding them all one by one, supervising their art, giving ideas and helping with brush strokes. The final output of the girls were spectacular. See for yourself their patience and hardwork and some of their art.

The amazing workshop ended with wonderful pieces of artworks created by people who have never touched an art brush in their life. I was totally happy to see their excitement. Soon, Sahodari Foundation will be organizing an exhibition to showcase their talents to the worlds. Any sale of artworks will completely go to the artists who created it. The time came to go our ways, to our places and once again face the world. The girls took with them the joy of creating, the experience of peace and togetherness, an unforgotteable gift of art making.We packed our bags, got into the tempo traveller waiting for us and reached Coimbatore. We hugged and kissed and almost were in tears and said good bye to each other. Yet, the excitement was there in us throughout.

Art opens us a new world of possibilities, it heals our wounds and scars of the past and balances us, it playfully takes us to the colourful path of the future. Making art is a sacred experience for the transgender community of India, like dance and music, art will become an important part for celebration and healing oneself. Art can also help our livelihood too, we need to tap our talents with focus and dare to experiment boldly. I thank our friends Matilda, Elin, Cris Cyders for immense support.

I thank my friend artist Hariparthan for teaching art in a friendly way. I thank Anand and Satdarshan for the place. I thank our friends Prema and Heena for the wonderful food preparations and looking after us like mothers. I thank Sadhu the little puppy who played with us through out our stay and mama who was very supportive.

I heard Viji speaking to other girls :

When I go back home, I will go to a store and purchase art materials and canvas, I will practice more and make more artworks. I am astonished to discover that I could make art”.

Support Sahodari Foundation's initiatives. Please visit www.sahodari.org to know all our work for the transgender community.

How I wish my art will transform the lives of disadvantaged people

“It is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done.” 

― Vincent van Gogh

In March 2016, after an inspirational meeting with the art curator and teacher Latha Kurien Rajeev in Trivandrum, I started to paint seriously. Since then, literally speaking, I have transformed everyday of my life very colourful. Art is transforming my life for better and I hope to transform others lives better through my art. 

From childhood, I loved art. Art was one powerful medium through which I withered my gender identity crisis. 

We all express our happiness, sadness, confusion, desire, love, compassion, anger, lust and every human emotion in words, sounds, gestures, expressions, movements and writing. We have people to listen to. For me, paper and pen, brush and colours were my medium for expressions, that was where ai was not judged or bullied for what I expressed.  

Around 11th August 2016,  I came across crowdfunding platforms and realised their potential to showcase and sell my art and raise funds for myself and for the causes I believe in. That is how my campaign www.fueladream.com/home/campaign/278 happened. After 3 months, i sold most of my paintings through the platform and raised my target which was INR 2,00,000. Taxes minus campaign charges, I will distribute 60% of the funds raised to the four chosen trans women and one more struggling activist brother of mine who need support.  

In the upcoming months and years I want to make more art passionately, sell them to people who genuinely cherish it and raise funds to support not only transpeople but also those poor and disadvantaged children who will need such support to pursue their studies. 

I hope and wish I have all the creative energy and the strength to pursue it and make young people's dreams for a better future gets closer to reality with my effort. 

I am blessed and feel I have been chosen for this great purpose. It gives a true meaning to my life, to my art.

“The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science.” 

― Albert Einstein, The World As I See It

Support Sahodari Foundation's initiatives. Please visit www.sahodari.org to know all our work for the transgender community.

Woman by choice

People call me a second type woman, a transgender woman, a hijra or whatever. I don't care about criticism, about being labelled and about people telling me that I am not a complete woman. To me, there exists no complete woman or a complete man. In every man, there is a woman and in every woman a man.

During my teen years as a gender nonconforming student, I have faced severe verbal abuse, bullying, harassment and physical abuse in schools. In a country where woman are worshiped as goddesses—the nation itself is worshiped as Bharat Matha—I am shaken to know that India is the most dangerous place in the world to be born a girl. I, and people like me, who transitioned with so much obstacles to live in our true identities, to live as women, are continuously abused, discriminated and socially rejected for more than a century remaining marginalised, invisible and unwanted.

Born as the only biological male child of a middle class Hindu family, I was given the best education possible by my parents. I consider that as the biggest gift and the most precious asset my parents had given me. My education and the drive I had in me for more knowledge, a better life, and my pursuit for self searching, gave me the courage to endure the shame and pain which the world fiercely threw at me. The mother plays an important role in designing the entire destiny of a child. Transgender and gender non conforming children are chased away from their homes and face end up being the most under privileged and highly exploited. If every parent accept their gender nonconforming child and give them the love, protection and a good education, you will not see so many transgender women begging on the streets during the day and standing at street corners as sex workers at night.

Are women aware of their power, are women aware of their being? Do they appreciate their self worth? It took years of struggle for me to be recognised as a woman in the society. Once recognised, I now struggle for a respectable and an equal place in the society. Because I choose to be a woman, I cannot be a victim of exploitation in the name of tradition and culture, or in the masks of family and social acceptance. Because I choose to be a woman, I cannot accept the iron cuffs of patriarchy and sub-human treatment. For me, and dozens of transgender women like me, the freedom and liberty to live a life that we choose is more important than socially being accepted as women and then exploited.

For me, being a woman is a celebration of my freedom, my beauty and my femininity. Before accepting me as a woman, please first accept me as a human being who has the right and the liberty to live a life that I want to, that I choose to. A society that is ashamed of the new born baby girl will never flourish to be a healthy society. Celebrating our women symbolises celebration of equality and human rights, and acknowledgment of the uniqueness that exists in all of us.
A society that celebrates its women will celebrate womanhood in acknowledging, accepting, and being inclusive in diversity in gender and in sexuality.
Freedom to be a woman and to rejoice my identity is my right.

A guest column By Kalki Subramaniam | March 07, 2016, The Week, Theweek.in 

Rights of Transgender Persons Bill 2015 - another victory, another hope.

Today, on the 24th of April 2015, another historical victory has been achieved by the transgender people of India after the Supreme court judgement legally recognizing transgenders last year. A private bill moved in the Rajya Sabha by the Dravida Munnetra Kazhagam MP Tiruchi Siva, the ‘Rights of Transgender Persons bill-2014’ has been passed today.

 After 1970, 45 years later, this bill is the first private member bill passed by the House, a historic thing indeed.

I am extremely happy and express my sincere thanks to the member of the Rajya Sabha Mr.Tiruchi Siva and all the other Rajya sabha members for unanimously supporting and passing the Transgender rights Bill.

The members have supported inspite of the political differences. The transgender community has, for over a century, lived in the the most marginalized space in the society. Our relentless battle still continues. The supreme court judgement last year recognizing transgenders and  transgender rights bill passed in the Rajya Sabha, both have given us big hopes in our struggling life. We have believe that there is a possibility for betterment in transgender people's lives which will ensure equality and justice for us. We hope that the bill will also be unanimously supported and passed at the Lok Sabha and made into a law for protecting us.

The passing of the bill ensures that the transgender persons' rights and wellness and insists on proactive measures to be initiated by the Central and the State governments for the welfare of the transgender community in the country. I hope and wish the central government and all the state governments will implement social security and upliftment measures for us with a long term vision.

I am also thankful to the RBI for its announcement today in which it has directed all the banks in the country to include third gender in its application forms.This is indeed another noteworthy announcement which will facilitate access to banking services for the transgender people for the first time.

It is a proud moment for all if us activists and I sincerely thank our alleys, human rights activists and organizations, academicians, lawyers and the Judiciary, and all the media houses and journalists who have relentlessly voiced and supported for our issue and our upliftment from the social shackles and stigma.

This day will go into history and we are all a part of it.

K A L K I    S U B R A M A N I A M

 A U T H O R  •  A C T I V I S T  •  A C T O R 

Be a child, bring back the magic :D

Kalki Subramaniam

Make life lighter. Be a child. Laugh :D, Smile :)

Like the jetlag that haunts after a long flight trip,  people from the corporate and the I.T world are haunted with long and endless boredom due to the monotonous work that they do everyday, doing the same things over and over again, living a life of dullness.

The secret to fizzle out that boredom and stress lies within you. Bring back your jazzy life.  The key to bring back that sizzling magic is to relish and relive your childhood.  Here are the first steps to go back to those days and yet be present in the moment now.

Point 1: Collect your childhood things which are left out in the old shelfs, boxes, sack bags, drawers and in the barn. Your old sketches, little scrapbooks, dairies, little presents which you thought mean of no value now and the toys. More important collect your childhood and teenage photographs

organize them and put them into an album. Clean up all your childhood items, organize and keep them in a place where only you’d access them.

Point2: Write a small note over each picture bringing back whatever you remember about the time when the picture was shot.Keep the album safe.

Point 3:  Take a new notebook: Hey hey, I amn’t talking about the machine, I mean the real paper notebook. That’s your Joy Book. We’ll call it Your name’s Joy Book. Now,  the Joy book is going to be your treasure of memories from your childhood and teenage.

Point 4:  Thr Joy Book will have only happy and sweet memories, right from your childhood to this moment when you are reading this article.

Point 5: Start writing down all the sweet memories of your life one by one. It need not be in an order or in a timeline. Jot down anything you remember in a few lines or as much description as you wish to write about that sweet memory. Your first bicycle, your first  best friend and the most beautiful memory with him/her, the day you bunked college with friends to see Rajnikant’s movie, the excitement you had when you received your first salary etc. Jot down everything whenever you remember and keep writing.

Point 6: Keep your Joy Book safe and take it out whenever you wanted to write.

Point 7: One mistake we all make is to get swept away in work and in the present life and forget the people in our past who made our life beautiful. Call up your old friends if you have their numbers, trace them on facebook and write a mail to them. Bringing back those people in your life once again makes life more jazzy and colourful.

Point 8: Have you been thankful to your mom and dad who gave you a life and who made you the person you are today? Give them a surprise gift and pamper their soul. Their blessings mean so much to you. See happiness in their face when their hearts bloom. Continue that habit of keeping your parents happy which should be on the top of your priority list.

Point 9:  Search for your favourite teacher from your school life and his whereabouts. Give him/her a surprise visit and get his blessings. Gift him with a special something and make him happy. You’d come across a rush of happiness and all old sweet memories filling your heart.

Point 10: Find out that one simple wish of yours that is long over due, your one chinna chiina aasai that doesn’t involve money. Make it happen this week, make it a reality.

Point 10: Dance!

Hey, don’t forget to jot in all the sweet memories that have garlanded your soul. Now, read your Joy       Book whenever you wanted to and relish in the joy of living. Kill that boredom with happiness through making people happy. Go get that sleezy, jazzy life and wake up that child in you to find true happiness.

Ah, it is raining outside my window while I write this, time for me to get wet along with the flowers.  Let me fulfill my chinna chinna aasai once more. Ciao..J

Kalki Subramaniam is a Transgender rights activist, artist, actor, writer and founder of Sahodari Foundation. Her website is www.kalkisubramaniam.com. You can write to her at: aurokalki@gmail.com.